Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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