and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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