i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize