i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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