i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
