marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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