A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
