I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
and she was petting her beer can
pop tarts are not kleenex
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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