College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
