what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
