well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
