He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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