I just made out with a guy for $7.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize