yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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