hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
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