New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize
