dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Randomize
