Where did you get a picture of my penis
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
