He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
OPIZZABONMYDICK
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize