i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
