Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
...so i touched it.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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