ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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