Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Randomize
