I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
there is puke in my bra ... again
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
