Quick, to the slutcave!
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
