do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
