I could have mohawked her pubes.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
