Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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