Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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