she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
