I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Randomize
