I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Pants are for mortals
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize