it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
