Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
