Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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