She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize