But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
