i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
