I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
