Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
