Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
