she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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