You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
