I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
