did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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