I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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