oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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