a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
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