I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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