Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
