Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
