Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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