I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
