I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Randomize