In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize