This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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