I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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