Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
How does one acquire holy water?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize