I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize
