I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Randomize
