You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize