Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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