Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
