you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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