Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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