So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
