I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
