its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
