There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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