I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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