I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
