did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
it's like heaven, but drunker
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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