Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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