I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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